Soul searching

All this talk on atheism kind of got me thinking. I’ve kind of always taken the idea of God for granted. Though I am sure that I believe in there being one, I’m not quite sure why. I’ve grown up, knowing that God exists. Never having found a reason to question his/her/its existence, I never have.

Lately though, I have come across not one, but two or three people who either don’t think God exists, or think that God is unnecessary. I dismissed their opinions at first, but I must admit, they did get me to think. Not about whether or not God exists – that is just too debatable (viewers of this blog know that all too well) – but about my reasons for believing.
Have I believed in God till now because I have never thought otherwise? Would I find it hard to give up my belief in God simply because I wouldn’t be able to get used to it? Now, this is very strange for me, but I did quite a bit of soul searching on this one. I’m not one to ask myself such questions! But I think I’ve decided.

I need the faith I have. It’s not the rituals. It’s the belief that (I think) we all need. Temples and idols just give the idea a name. Before a competition, or a performance, or anything big in my life, that minute I spend in front of the Jaganath helps me clear my mind. The few seconds I spend before I go to sleep asking for all the people I care about to be blessed…it doesn’t even do anything! It just makes me feel like, there is someone listening to me, and not judging me.

I’m still not completely sure. Maybe I need the assurance because I’m weak-willed. Maybe it is just because I started off this way. Or maybe it is because I feel protected by my belief. Whatever it is, I am sure that I (speaking for myself) know that there is some being out there that hears me when I don’t want anyone else to. Whatever you atheists say…

If God didn’t exist, it would be necessary to create Him.

Flowers, clues and Mia!

Oh my god…I have the best friends in the WORLD! They put in SO much effort for my birthday! I feel so…special I guess! Even though it’s just once in a year, it is so nice to feel so important!

Sucheta came over yesterday with the sixth ‘Mia Thermopolis’, a top from ‘Chai’…and this HUGE bunch of flowers! I mean…it was HUGE!!! When all the flowers were taken out, its contents filled up FOUR vases! That’s a lot of flowers! There were chrysanthemums, and carnations, and orchids, and birds of Paradaise and these other really pretty ones I couldn’t even recognise!

Rati actually put me on a treasure hunt! There were basically three clues that ended up leading me to the bus stop tomorrow morning! It must have taken her AGES to write the whole last clue in mirror image! It is so sweet…I can’t believe she took all that trouble!

Hey you guys, if you are reading this…thanks! At the risk of sounding sappy – you guys are the best!

Horrors...but really children at heart!

Today was the children’s day assembly at school…it was so hilarious – to watch the very people we are most apprehensive off, dress up in skirts and pigtails and little golden cardboard crowns! All my laughing put aside, I actually found it quite cute…the way they practiced for a week to put up that show for us. We have a big bunch of kids for teachers!

The assembly started off with Ms. Renita and Ms. Lorna singing a song. “You’ve got a friend”…they could BARELY remember the words…but they had tried singing in harmony – that Ms. Kavita (on the piano) had obviously tried to teach them. It turned out sounding quite nice…and we all screamed at the top of our lungs by the end of it!

There were two dances. One led by Ms. Varsha (who by the way was dancing like she was going to be on TV or something) – to Devdas’ ‘Dola Re’! It was really entertaining to watch the two Malyali computer science teachers dance in Bengali saris!! The other dance…was a dandiya – with the teachers in guy-girl pairs. This would ordinarily be fine, except that it was danced to the Ketchup Song!! Oh god…we were DYING by the end of it!! Of course, Ms. Caroline was a part of it, and she made it all the more fun to watch!

The funniest bit of the assembly, however, was the two little skits.
In one, all the teachers were pretending to be either blushing brides (Ms. Beulah!!!), or crying mothers (Ms. Meera…can you believe it?!) , or selfish wives who only wanted saris from their husbands (Ms. Vineetha! HA!). We – standing at the end of the first floor balcony – couldn’t stop laughing!! It was absolutely hilarious!
The other was the NAFL faculty’s very own version of Cinderella (with Ms. Malashri as the star mind you…)! I don’t think that I will ever forget Ms. Malashri, in her black skirt and pigtails, shouting, “Where’s my soufflé?!”

All in all, the day was a success, there were roses everywhere, and we actually managed to get one or two classes off because it was ‘Children’s Day!’ The teachers might have made jokes of themselves for one day, but we laughed with them all the same. I guess the next time one of them gives us a hard time, we’ll picture them in pigtails, or crying into their pallus!

Nrityagram...

From the moment I enter those gates…I feel part of a different world. It is a place so calm, so serene, that I forget everything else that's on my mind while I am there. This Sunday I went there after almost 7 months. I didn't realise how much I missed being there. But the sound of peace with the distant Pakhwaj beat brought it all back to me.
I joined Nrityagram in August 2003. The style of Odissi I had learnt before that was different from the one we are taught at Nrityagram. I am taught by the senior resident students. The first time I saw them perform, I was thinking...this is how Sucheta must feel looking at Van Gogh!

Dance to them isn’t just a string of movements put together…it is their life. They live, breathe, and dream dance. Their lives are completely devoted to dance. They are so different from the people I am used to being around! Take their sense of humor…while having lunch, our Pakhwaj player (who is by the way the most adorably enthusiastic guy I have ever come across) is the one who makes everyone laugh. And the day I was there…this is what everyone was going hysterical about: Budha was reciting an Odissi bol…and swinging a string of grapes in perfect rhythm! Just as the bol finished, he dropped the grape into the bowl…again exactly on beat! This doesn’t ordinarily seem at all funny (I for one was marveling at how he managed to move that grape on time)! But everyone thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. Their enthusiasm was really quite endearing (and infectious).

Generally when I go to Nrityagram…it is Surupa Sen who takes our class. Ordinarily, she is a very reserved person. She lives alone, with her horrifyingly ferocious great dane, Rakha. She is a great teacher, and there is no doubting her talent or capabilities. This Sunday however, for the first time, Bijoyini Sathpathy took our class. I don’t think that in all my 15 years, I have admired anyone more. Bijoyini di is, in addition to being incredibly talented, a wonderful person to be around. She recognises a piece of music by hearing 5 seconds of it! And when she dances, it is like a sculpture has come alive. Graceful movements that she perfectly brings together with strong footwork and feeling that makes her look like she dances for someone way above the likes of you and me in her audience. It is an absolute treat for us to watch both Surupa di and Bijoyini di practice (let alone perform).

I take my exam on the 21st. I somehow feel so insignificant. I have taken classical exams before (in music) and I have been examined in dance by my own teachers. But this time is somehow different. I (modesty put aside) have so far been used to being prepared for what I’ve gotten into, and generally being adequately good at it. This exam scares me though. I am afraid that I will let down way too many people by doing this one badly. And hearing about how strict the examiners are hasn’t helped one bit! I know that I will never be a Bijoyini Sathpathy. I have neither the talent nor the time to put in as much into my dance as she does. She and Surupa di, however, will always have a great amount of respect and admiration from me, and I hope that one day, I will be able to live up to their expectations.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!

Fine logic!

Ok…so we lost another match. Honestly, what were we expecting to happen?! It was quite a depressing loss though. We were doing so well! A final score of 292 is not bad at all! Especially at Eden garden! After the toss, Krishnamachari Srikkanth said that having won this toss, India had already 50% won the match, and that unless we played really badly, there wasn’t much possibility of us losing this game. Now, no offense to the former Indian captain…but dude! We lost! And not because we played badly…the Pakistanis just played incredibly well!

Our problem is, that when our batsmen perform well, our bowlers mess up…or vice-versa. Hey, I’m no cricket analyst or anything…but with 3 overs left, and with a situation where saving runs was REALLY important, why on EARTH did Ganguly send in Yuvraj to bowl?! That sixer during his over practically won the game for Pakistan (not to mention the 2 extras Nehra gave away!).

As far as I can see, nothing is going to improve till the whole problem between Ganguly and the BCCI chairman is resolved. They really have it in for him don’t they?! I mean…fining the guy for slow over rate?! Cricket is becoming too much politics and too little play! In that match between India and Australia where the refs just arbitrarily cut like 15 overs, and Brett Lee (Brett LEE!!!) hit a sixer and won the match with a ball to spare…did the ICC make a fuss? They had ONE wicket in hand, and they needed like 50 something runs to win! We would have ‘all-outed’ them!!!! Argh… But at that time…did the BCCI make a fuss?! NOOOOOO! But now…they suspend a perfectly good captain for slow over rate!

Seriously, leave the poor guy alone! He is doing his job and he’s doing it well! And he is probably right about that guy not knowing about cricket…so get off his back! We can crib all we want! They became sports idols knowing they will be under the critical eye of the public 24/7…but let’s not overdo things here!
Suspending a guy for slow over rate…
Sheesh

10th grade saga…story of our lives!

10th grade stinks!! And if you don’t agree with me…you are either deranged…you enjoy being nagged by six teachers all day at school (in which case I STRONGLY suggest medication!!)…or you simply haven’t been here yet! lol

Our teachers plan their work for us, keeping in mind that theirs is the only subject we study…and that we have all the time after school to study THEIR subject!! And of COURSE they think that! Why wouldn’t they?? After all…what life do we lead outside of school?? Honestly! What did you think?! To make it all worse…they do it all with an extremely unsympathetic it’s-for-your-own-good-and-if-we-got-through-it-then-so-can-you attitude!! Argh…

I thought things would get better after 10th grade…but, from what I’ve heard, apparently not…Any thoughts anyone?

Relationships...

Why would anyone in their right mind get into a relationship in the first place?! I don’t just mean the whole bf/gf thing…just any kind of relationship! Friends in particular. Have you ever noticed that whenever your rapport gets defined with someone…you begin to lose it?? (The rapport…not your mind…though that doesn’t seem too far from the truth either)

I thought I had become immune to being let down. I just decided never to say anyone was my best friend ever again! That’s it! I don’t have one! Now THAT didn’t work…

It turns out…I’m not immune. I’m trying a new approach; Don’t ever get close to ANYone! Hmmm…let’s see how long THAT one lasts…

*RAY OF HOPE* But then again…there are always those one or two people who you always end up being around. Maybe by coincidence…maybe by luck…fate (ok…I’m pushing it!)…Who knows?! But hey…thanks for being there…you know who you are. (Or maybe you don’t…but the point is…I do!)

Singapore...

I want to go back to Singapore!! I spent a wonderful eleven days there…and now I want to go back! I just love that country. I don’t know why…ok that’s a lie. I know exactly why! It’s because I am PAMPERED there!!! Whenever we stay with the Mulanis…I never stop having fun! I don’t know WHY they love us so the way they do…but they do…and the feeling is mutual!

Gunnu…I had a blast spending time with you! We really got to know each other this time and I couldn’t have been happier!! And no…not yet!
Parita…thanks for taking me shopping! I am sure that was the first time I walked INTO a shop at 10:00pm and took the bus home past 10:30! I could SEE my mom dying at home!!!
Giresh…thanks for introducing Tushar to heelys!! (I’m not too sure I meant that…he has been Heely-ing EVERYwhere!! Which includes the Oberoi lounge!! He is beginning to get embarrassing!) But he probably would have fallen over 10 times as much as he does if you hadn’t taught him how to Heely in the first place!
Aunty Rajni…thanks for…EVERYTHING! For the mee…the gado gado! And just for making me feel so welcome at your home! I know one thing for sure…I am NEVER shopping at John Little again!!! Ahem…
Uncle Manu…Loved seeing what little we did see of you!! Thanks for knowing that we were whacking on your drums…and STILL being so cool about it!
PS: Hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Travelling by MRT!! I want to travel by MRT again!! And I want to spend an entire evening at Cinne Leisure…and Takashimaya!! I want to do it all over again! Well…if everything goes well…I’ll be back in April…muhahaha!

Hi!

Wow...this is alot better than livejournal.com!
Don't know how often I am actually going to end up posting up here...but hey! give it a shot huh??