Sadistic Pleasure

Dentists are the world’s biggest sadists.

I have always had an irrational fear of dentists, and was completely freaked when I found out a needed root canal. The day before my birthday, I was going to, for the first time in my life, have anaesthesia in my mouth! It wasn’t even the root canal, just a filling…but I was completely freaking out.

Let me tell you one thing. The injection hurts a little bit, but that’s it. The actual procedure wasn’t so bad. In retrospect.

What was sadistic you ask? The complete lack of dignity in the whole thing! I was horizontal…my mouth wide open…with one guy drilling on a tooth, and two other people WATCHING. I’m not scientific enough to be comfortable with such rapt medical interest, and am at a loss to understand where any other interest could possibly lie in the interior of my mouth.

The absolute limit was when this dentist – who personally, I’m sure, is a perfectly nice human being – starts HUMMING! While the drilling was still going on! I mean, for God’s sake!

The anaesthesia numbed the entire left side of my face, including my tongue…which felt five times larger than always. My mom was making jokes about how I couldn’t say the alphabet. And amidst all this, the guy looks at me and says “Have a nice day! See you on Thursday for the next session!” Smiling. And when I got there on that Thursday, the owner of the clinic says “Back again, are we? You’re really beginning to enjoy this huh?”

Argh. Sadists.

This is for them!

This Is Going To Hurt Just A Little Bit - A poem by Ogden Nash